A quick guide to what your company says, what it actually means, and why your salary remains the same.
CTC (noun): An impressively large figure used to entice prospective employees and surprise their parents, but which has no impact on their bank accounts. Not to be confused with actual income.
Variable Pay (noun): The part of your salary that keeps swinging with the company’s performance, individual performance, market conditions and the CFO’s mood, not necessarily in that order.
Hybrid Working (noun): A harmonious arrangement that allows employees to work from home when their manager is in the office and from the office when their manager works from home.
Skip-Level Meeting (noun): A confidential meeting with your boss’s boss. Followed by an unusually detailed conversation with your boss.
Town Hall (noun): A democratic gathering allowing employees complete freedom to ask any question that has been approved by Corporate Communications and has nothing to do with compensation.
Cost Optimisation (noun): A complex exercise led by the vice-president, after which the company realises that three junior employees cost more than one senior vice-president.
Market Correction (noun): When your replacement is hired at a salary 40 per cent higher than yours. Not to be confused with the market conditions that limited your increment to 4 per cent.